Today my husband and I are starting, The Love Dare, by Stephen and Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough.  This book is based off the move, Fireproof.  The back cover reads:
"Unconditional Love is eagerly promised at weddings, but rarely practiced in real life.  As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home.  But it doesn't have to stay that way.  The Love Dare is a 40 day challenge for husbands and wifes to understand and practice unconditional love.  Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or healthy and strong, The Love Dare is a journey you need to take.  It's time to learn the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage.  Take the Dare!"

The first page reads:
"Receive this as a warning.  This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly.  It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one.  To take this dare requires a resolute mind and a steadfast determination.  It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits.  If you will commit to a day at a time for forty days, the results could change your life and your marriage.  Consider it a dare, from others who have done it before you."

Ok so now I'm a little on edge about trying this.  What will happen?  Will we make it through the dares?  Will we quit early?  Well I'm willing to give it a shot.  Hey I got married in the first place, oh yeah, I've been married before so this should really be interesting.  When you think about it, you marry someone and sign a contract that you really don't give much thought to at the time.  However, three years into the marriage and some might question why they did it in the first place.  Take me for instance, my first marriage began at the age of 15 and pregnant.  I had NO CLUE what I was getting myself into and I signed up for it without questioning my intentions so why would this be any different?  We never really know where the road in life will lead us but if we give up when we question it then we are really missing out on growing in life.  So, here goes............

This morning David and I talked about the dares for day one and two.  We are doubling up on the days because we want to renew our marriage vows in Feb instead of in March.  Well, this is the plan so far and if you know me well, this plan could change without notice. 
Day one dare: "Resolve to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.  If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.  It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."
Day two dare: "Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness."
After reading this to David he says, "Oh this should be real easy for you" in a sarcastic tone.  I said, "Hmm, well now I have one up on you buddy."  And we laughed. 
One thing that we tend to do is let our frustrations out on each other when things happen throughout the day.  We tend to use each other as therapists, I guess you could say.  However, it's always tough to hear what the other has to say when deep down we know it's the truth. 

Day one talks about being patient and how love is built on pillars of patience and kindness.  All other characteristics of love are extensions of these two attributes.  Patience is the attribute that helps us to be positive in a negative situation.  We resolve to slow down the quick response of anger instead of being restless and demanding.  When there is a storm whirling around we look within for the internal calm instead of the external storm.  Anger never makes anything better, in fact it makes things worse and amplifies other storms within a marriage.  Resentment, disappointment, or grief is usually the culprit for anger building up from selfishness, foolishness, or evil motives.  Patience always prevails over anger and is the wiser.  Patience gives you the ability to hold during tough times rather than bailing out under pressure. 
"Few of us do patience well, and none of us do it naturally."

Day two talks about kindness as an action.  Patience is how love reacts but kindness is how love acts.  Patience avoids problems while kindness creates blessing.  In the book there is a paragraph regarding each of these words: Gentleness, Helpfulness, Willingness, and Initiative.  Each paragraph talks about the needs for each person much like a see saw affect giving and receiving unto each other but on a balanced scale. 

Here are a couple of questions that are presented to the reader:
How would your husband or wife describe you on the kindness meter?  How harsh are you?  How gentle and helpful?  Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help?

"It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation.  But love in it's truest sense is not based on feelings.  Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward.  You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."

Tonight I came home to David cooking dinner.  He does not like to cook but these past few months he has taken the initiative to try recipes out of a book.  This was his act of kindness and mine will be giving him a massage with aromatherapy oils.  We are going to watch the move, Fireproof, tonight to see how it relates to the book.  Below you can find the trailer for the movie.
Keep us in your prayers and intentions.

Kandi Phillips
www.AwakenYourSpace.com
www.LiveYourIntention.com
www.KandiPhillips.com