The Love Dare - Love is Not Rude or Irritable
Day 5 Dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him/her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
Day 6 Dare: Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of the areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Many couples are rude to one another by making sly remarks or act in a way that is embarrassing or irritating. The person acting in a way that is embarrassing or giving rude comments may think that it's insignificant however the person on the receiving end feels uncomfortable or belittled. When we are driven by love for another we intentionally act or talk in ways that are pleasant for our partner. We avoid the things that are irritating or frustrating to the other person.
While at home, partners typically act different than they would in front of strangers. Why do you think reality shows are such a big hit? Because most people can relate to the real life of these shows. In the book, The Love Dare, an example is given of a person who is barking or pouting around the house, but when the door bell chimes, they open the door smiling, upbeat, and act as if nothing is going on. The Love Dare tells us that if you dare to love then you will always give your best to others. Love motivates us to make changes in our behavior or otherwise suffer through a relationship. Why? Because we are not truly striving to be the best we can for another but also for ourselves. When we walk in the path of love, we are truly inspired and open to all that is.
The Love Dare gives two main reasons why people are rude; ignorance and selfishness. We are born ignorant of how to eat and need help and training on learning how do things. We may know that we are being ignorant or selfish as adults, but we tend to be blind and break all the rules at others expense.
Questions to ask yourself from The Love Dare page 22:
Love doesn't turn sour under pressure and yield a major reaction from a minor problem. (This make sense.) "Love doesn't get angry or hurt unless there is a legitimate and just reason in the sight of God." quoted from the book. This quote kinda bothers me. When does God point out or exclude something that is legitimate or within reason? To me, God has no judgment and looks at us all with divine eyes of wisdom as a whole unit. So if someone is hurt because they are robbed, is this within reason of God for the person that is robbed to be angry or hurt? Then I realize that I'm reading between the lines as most women do. Let's move on.....
There are 2 key reasons that cause someone to be irritable; stress and selfishness. Stress weighs your down like a brick, with nowhere to go. You feel weakened and cranky so you take it out on others. Selfishness can either bring on a sour response or a sweet response, when the pressure is on. When we are easily angered this indicates that there is a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity where love is supposed to rule. The Love Dare tells us that selfishness has other masks such as; lust, bitterness, greed, and pride. However, through love you can forgive instead of holding a grudge. (The person that was robbed would then not hold a grudge through love?) Love calms the heart and appreciates what you have and be content rather than rushing into the next filler that serves you only for small amount of time.
Our Love Dare:
David's 3 things about Kandi that are uncomfortable or irritating for day 5:
Scolding or feeling like a child about something he should have done.
Mixed signals or expected to read Kandi's mind.
Balancing time and letting go of what is currently on your plate even if you don't have the ability.
David's list of areas to add margin to schedule:
Take time to prioritize schedule
Listen and understand Kandi
Take time to have fun with Kandi
Show more affection
Kandi's 3 things about David that are uncomfortable or irritating for day 5:
Watching TV or a movie while I'm doing laundry, cooking, or other family responsibilities.
Not dealing with issues at hand, instead acting as if it will go away.
Balancing time for personal responsibilities that would help me so we can have more fun time.
Kandi's list of areas to add margin to schedule:
Scheduling my time more proficiently and letting others help.
Letting things go that are no longer serving me in my business or personal life.
Being more affectionate with David.
David was first to tell me the three things that were uncomfortable or irritating. At first I felt on edge but I truly listened with an open heart, we both did. It was really great to listen and talk without letting it build up to the boiling point of a volcano erupting without notice. During these lessons, I realize that things flow smoother for us because of the work that we've been doing over the years. Plus David is an open minded person with a beautiful heart. At first, I was reluctant to post about such personal testimonies but you know we are all learning and experiencing issues through life. It's when we can be humble to "what is" that we are open to the great expanse of life and love.
Kandi Phillips
www.AwakenYourSpace.com
www.LiveYourIntention.com
www.KandiPhillips.com
Day 6 Dare: Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list of the areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Many couples are rude to one another by making sly remarks or act in a way that is embarrassing or irritating. The person acting in a way that is embarrassing or giving rude comments may think that it's insignificant however the person on the receiving end feels uncomfortable or belittled. When we are driven by love for another we intentionally act or talk in ways that are pleasant for our partner. We avoid the things that are irritating or frustrating to the other person.
While at home, partners typically act different than they would in front of strangers. Why do you think reality shows are such a big hit? Because most people can relate to the real life of these shows. In the book, The Love Dare, an example is given of a person who is barking or pouting around the house, but when the door bell chimes, they open the door smiling, upbeat, and act as if nothing is going on. The Love Dare tells us that if you dare to love then you will always give your best to others. Love motivates us to make changes in our behavior or otherwise suffer through a relationship. Why? Because we are not truly striving to be the best we can for another but also for ourselves. When we walk in the path of love, we are truly inspired and open to all that is.
The Love Dare gives two main reasons why people are rude; ignorance and selfishness. We are born ignorant of how to eat and need help and training on learning how do things. We may know that we are being ignorant or selfish as adults, but we tend to be blind and break all the rules at others expense.
Questions to ask yourself from The Love Dare page 22:
- How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
- How does your behavior affect your partners sense of worth and self-esteem?
- Would your partner say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?
- "Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated." Luke 6:31
- Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
- Consider what your partner already asked you to do or not do. If in doubt, then ask.
Love doesn't turn sour under pressure and yield a major reaction from a minor problem. (This make sense.) "Love doesn't get angry or hurt unless there is a legitimate and just reason in the sight of God." quoted from the book. This quote kinda bothers me. When does God point out or exclude something that is legitimate or within reason? To me, God has no judgment and looks at us all with divine eyes of wisdom as a whole unit. So if someone is hurt because they are robbed, is this within reason of God for the person that is robbed to be angry or hurt? Then I realize that I'm reading between the lines as most women do. Let's move on.....
There are 2 key reasons that cause someone to be irritable; stress and selfishness. Stress weighs your down like a brick, with nowhere to go. You feel weakened and cranky so you take it out on others. Selfishness can either bring on a sour response or a sweet response, when the pressure is on. When we are easily angered this indicates that there is a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity where love is supposed to rule. The Love Dare tells us that selfishness has other masks such as; lust, bitterness, greed, and pride. However, through love you can forgive instead of holding a grudge. (The person that was robbed would then not hold a grudge through love?) Love calms the heart and appreciates what you have and be content rather than rushing into the next filler that serves you only for small amount of time.
Our Love Dare:
David's 3 things about Kandi that are uncomfortable or irritating for day 5:
Scolding or feeling like a child about something he should have done.
Mixed signals or expected to read Kandi's mind.
Balancing time and letting go of what is currently on your plate even if you don't have the ability.
David's list of areas to add margin to schedule:
Take time to prioritize schedule
Listen and understand Kandi
Take time to have fun with Kandi
Show more affection
Kandi's 3 things about David that are uncomfortable or irritating for day 5:
Watching TV or a movie while I'm doing laundry, cooking, or other family responsibilities.
Not dealing with issues at hand, instead acting as if it will go away.
Balancing time for personal responsibilities that would help me so we can have more fun time.
Kandi's list of areas to add margin to schedule:
Scheduling my time more proficiently and letting others help.
Letting things go that are no longer serving me in my business or personal life.
Being more affectionate with David.
David was first to tell me the three things that were uncomfortable or irritating. At first I felt on edge but I truly listened with an open heart, we both did. It was really great to listen and talk without letting it build up to the boiling point of a volcano erupting without notice. During these lessons, I realize that things flow smoother for us because of the work that we've been doing over the years. Plus David is an open minded person with a beautiful heart. At first, I was reluctant to post about such personal testimonies but you know we are all learning and experiencing issues through life. It's when we can be humble to "what is" that we are open to the great expanse of life and love.
Kandi Phillips
www.AwakenYourSpace.com
www.LiveYourIntention.com
www.KandiPhillips.com
Posted by Awaken Your Space LLC at 02-03-2010 
Categories: Love Dare
Tags: love god ignorance kendrick stress selfish couple fireproof selfishness rude irritate marriage opportunity romantic irritable love dare
Categories: Love Dare
Tags: love god ignorance kendrick stress selfish couple fireproof selfishness rude irritate marriage opportunity romantic irritable love dare
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