Day 13 Dare:  Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement.  If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by.  Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Day 14 Dare:  Purposely neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse.  Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on.  Just be together.

The book, The Love Dare, tells us that conflict is inevitable between a couple regardless if we enjoy it.  Each person comes into a relationship with unpleasant baggage that isn't unpacked over night.  Rather, the contents of this baggage is discovered over a period of time as we pull out different pieces day by day.  When a couple unveils the sinful and selfish contents of this baggage the prize that we once were in their eyes seems to diminish.  Welcome to humanity 101!

Arguments begin to spark over work, health, in-laws, financial needs, taking care of children, or the upkeep of the home.  Piece by piece these arguments break down the strong connection you once had as a unified couple.  We all go through it, however not all couples can weather through the bumpy roads that the baggage unveils.  Words are thrown at us like vicious venom which leads a person to put up the barrier of pride.  We become judgmental towards the other person that leads to more vicious venom until it's like a tornado stirring around with no means to an end.  Love is what helps us to calm down the stirring within and in turn become more trusting towards the other person.  In the book we are guided to write out a set of boundaries for dealing with conflict.  "We" boundaries and "Me" boundaries. 
There are examples listed on page 62 and 63 of The Love Dare.

The Love Dare tells us that our journey through the Love Dare is to learn not to follow our heart.  Rather we should lead it and put our feelings and emotions in the back seat.  Couples will not always feel like being loving.  "Love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving." When we are set in our singular unit of being we stand in the power of disapprovement towards another.  We give power to the bickering and petty things in life instead of leading our heart to the delightment of our partner.  Give desire to your partner by listening to their conversation, seeking their companionship, and remembering why you fell in love with that person's personality.

Take time today to laugh, flirt, kiss, or hug your partner.  Give them deep abiding love without any restrictions or judgment.  You are the only one that can take responsibility in relearning to love your partner for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health. 

The "we" boundaries in our relationship:

• We will never go to bed without saying "I Love You".
• We will not go to bed angry. 
• We will not bring up old things from the past.
• We will leave the room before a conflict escalates.
• We will do whatever it takes to resolve an issue in our relationship.

The "me" boundaries in our relationship:

• I will listen to what the other person has to say without jumping to conclusions. 
• I will respect the other person if they feel they need to leave the room.
• I will give the other person space and time for reflection.
• I will support the other person if they are having a bad day. If we are both having a bad day, we resolve to give each other a foot massage.

Love and Light,
Kandi Phillips
www.AwakenYourSpace.com
www.LiveYourIntention.com
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