Day 17 Dare: Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and pray for them.  Talk with your partner and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues.  Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you.  Make them feel safe.
Day 18 Dare: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you.  Get to know your partner during your time together while giving determination to having an enjoyable dinner with your partner.

Of all relationships throughout your life, the relationship with your partner is the most intimate.  All that you hide from others is made noticeable to your spouse or significant other.  We are born unto this world with a deep desire to love, be loved, and accepted by others.  When the most intimate depths of our soul is uncovered by our partners it is welcomed with great love or pushed away with shame.  A home with a partner should feel safe, secure and sacred for both of you.  If you do not feel safe, you are then tempted to seek it somewhere else.  This could be through flirtations towards another, comfort of work, outside hobbies, or surrounding yourself with people that respect and accept you.  But you should not feel pressured into changing yourself in order to seek approval from your mate.  You should not live in fear or feel like your home has territorial boundaries. 

Don't lecture your partner if they have secrets, instead act as a healing agent in offering loving support by listening.  Maybe some of the secrets have to be accepted because this is their history or upbringing.  You cannot change where they have been but you can support them in where they want to go.  "Loving them well should be your life's work."  God knows our secrets and accepts who we are without turning us away.  Reach out to your partner with grace, understanding, and accepting them for who they are. But not in a way that barges into their lives, rather by standing at the door and knocking, only to be there with love when they want to open the door.  "If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me." (Revelation 3:20)

Do you remember the days of learning about your partner?  If your partner had a favorite past time you would read or learn about this so you could have a meaningful conversation with them.  Maybe your partner loves football, loves to cook, or is health conscious.  You would look for ways to be a part of what they are passionate about.  Ask yourself, how much do I know about my partner?

Maybe you've been together for years but find that you haven't taken much notice to what your partner enjoys any longer.  Or that your perfect prince or princess has flaws.  Consider this, "If the amount of time you studied your spouse before marriage were equal to a high school diploma, then you should continue to learn about your mate until you gain a college, master's, and ultimately a doctorate degree."

Questions from page 87 of The Love Dare:

• Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams?
• Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love?
• Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?

You may not understand everything that is molded as one within your partner but it's worth the time to invest in studying every aspect of who they are.

Take time to work through the questions and get to know your partner all over again.  We had fun with this!  David and I are enjoying the lessons each day.  Sometimes we let days run together to absorb them more, plus on some days our schedules are different.  We have been doing things for one another without asking which is wonderful. 

Kandi Phillips
www.AwakenYourSpace.com
www.LiveYourIntention.com
www.KandiPhillips.com